Because why not? Haha.
I remember when I was in college around 17 years old, I had an ex boyfriend who loves to write and he’s very very good at it. He used to give me cards and love letters and he even created beautiful poems just for me. We used to have this one notebook where we would write to each other every day (just like having a diary) and we’d take turns after a week or whenever we had the chance to see each other. It was actually pretty sweet and unique. He was not just an ex lover but a bestfriend as well. He was not my first boyfriend but he was my first real love. What we had was like a Romeo-and-Juliet-kind-of-thing. We were very young then and I was such a rebel impulsive girl in a way that I would willingly sacrifice my family and even my studies just to spend time with him. BUT I’m not saying that he was a bad influence. He is a good guy. It was me not being a good girl. All I wanted that time was to be happy and live life the way I want to live it—being carefree.
I myself love to write as well. I used to have my own diary and filled it with my daily musings and secrets. But I’ve burnt my diaries years ago. I think I felt scared to the idea that someday someone would be able to read everything I wrote there. I have changed for the past years after college and a lot of unfortunate things had happened. I woke up one day and found myself that I’m tired of journal writing. That’s the time I decided to burn all of it. Since the era of Facebook had begun year 2007, and everything went virtual, my fond of writing on pen and paper faded. It felt as if I’ve lost a little part of me. I had a new ex boyfriend, we became boyfriends one semester before graduating. We also write to each other, he also gave me some love cards and such but the same spark that I have felt with words with my ex bestfriend’s writings wasn’t there.
But only around 2015 that I was being fully ignited again. The event that triggered me was the breakup I had with my long-term ex. I had several ex boyfriends before him but that was the only time where I had my heart badly broken. What we had was an almost 8-year relationship and I believed that he really was the one for me. For the past years I have always been this vocal girl on my Facebook account. I’m the type who publish long status posts and stuff. I’m the type who doesn’t give a shit about what other people would think about my thoughts and whatsoever. But I hated it when my ex told me to stop posting. I do get his point though but this is who I am. I love to write and to express everything. And I don’t even care if people would think I am being pathetic or ridiculous or what. Writing is the only way of release I am most comfortable at. But I really don’t understand why some people don’t just get it and don’t seem to look at it on a different note. So when the major breakup happened, I have managed to create letters mainly dedicated to my ex. The letters were full of emotions in rage, hatred and pain. I was so hurt and angry that time. I posted them on my facebook account and on this one fan page account that publishes random letters and stories from random people. And my posts were liked and appreciated and it felt kinda good.
Then I realized that there are three emotions that can trigger you to create a masterpiece—the feeling of euphoria or excessive happiness, the feeling of wrath or angst, and the feeling of pain with severe loneliness. I can still strongly recall the days when I’ve been writing those sad letters. But I won’t be blogging them sorry. It was all in the past and I have already let bygones be bygones. But sometimes I wish could write the same way as I wrote them. To write something out of your emotions, to be able to put your thoughts into words is just so beautiful regardless of what type of writing it is. Whether if it is a poem or a long letter or even just a simple 10-word story.
But I’m not a poetic writer huh? Jusko I am way far and different from Lang Leav. I’m more of a storyteller. I’m subjective, so i write what I feel at the moment. But I’m still not that eloquent. My english words are still basic and shoal. And the notes I have written were all spur of the moment. There are days I feel like writing and there are days my brain freezes.
So to answer the question, WHY BLOG? I’ll remain with my first response, I say WHY NOT?! Haha. No seriously, why the heck not? Social media is both a curse and a blessing. It saddens me that a lot of people use internet to degrade and bash one another. Sometimes I don’t browse Facebook anymore because of all the negativity. But at the same time I still browse because of the cute animal posts or funny videos from 9gag. Haha! And also the posts from Thought Catalog, I love them.
Honestly, I write because I want and I can. I write because I’m an overthinker. So instead of thinking over nonsense things or the pain of the past or life’s stressors, why not put my mind into something positive that would somehow benefit or inspire or trigger other people?
I am planning to blog literally about anything. I also would want to blog about random places like restaurants, cafés, beauty/fashion, etc. I’d do my best to give a full clear honest review. I’m getting excited! And I hope you guys would support me. I’m still learning how to do all the editing and stuff. I’m not techie and I haven’t been using a laptop pa, so bear with me. Haha!
Everything affects everything.
To my ex, G.R., your intelligence and love for writing influenced me to become what I am. I really thought the fire of writing in me and being expressive has long been gone but it’s still here. And you know what, you were the only guy who influenced me to write and speak in full English. Haha. So I owe this to you. Thank you! 🙂