Because why not? Haha.
I remember when I was in college around 17 years old, I had an ex boyfriend who loves to write and he’s very very good at it. He used to give me cards and love letters and he even created beautiful poems just for me. We used to have this one notebook where we would write to each other every day (just like having a diary) and we’d take turns after a week or whenever we had the chance to see each other. It was actually pretty sweet and unique. He was not just an ex lover but a bestfriend as well. He was not my first boyfriend but he was my first real love. What we had was like a Romeo-and-Juliet-kind-of-thing. We were very young then and I was such a rebel impulsive girl in a way that I would willingly sacrifice my family and even my studies just to spend time with him. BUT I’m not saying that he was a bad influence. He is a good guy. It was me not being a good girl. All I wanted that time was to be happy and live life the way I want to live it—being carefree.
I myself love to write as well. I used to have my own diary and filled it with my daily musings and secrets. But I’ve burnt my diaries years ago. I think I felt scared to the idea that someday someone would be able to read everything I wrote there. I have changed for the past years after college and a lot of unfortunate things had happened. I woke up one day and found myself that I’m tired of journal writing. That’s the time I decided to burn all of it. Since the era of Facebook had begun year 2007, and everything went virtual, my fond of writing on pen and paper faded. It felt as if I’ve lost a little part of me. I had a new ex boyfriend, we became boyfriends one semester before graduating. We also write to each other, he also gave me some love cards and such but the same spark that I have felt with words with my ex bestfriend’s writings wasn’t there.
I’ll be upfront, I’m not a weak and stupid girl to begin with. I crave mental stimulation, senseful conversations, adventure, cheesy moments, and some time alone once in a while. If you are wise, I can be wiser. If you are smart, I’ll tend to contradict. I can be quite intimidating and snob if I want, so you have to be brave. If I am strong, you need to be a lot stronger. Because I could be a bit of too much of everything. I won’t settle for a mediocre relationship. I won’t settle for a weak partner. I want growth. I want security. I want loyalty and respect. I want romance—lots of it! I want to have a partnership that’s wild and passionate, yet peaceful at the same time. I hope you prefer the same. I’m not demanding but I think every woman deserves the best. I may be stubborn and straightforward, but I’ll submit to you once I’ve seen that you are worthy. I may be a lot tougher now, but I still can melt within the right hands.
I’m not going to look for you nor hunt you down. I live through instincts and I follow signs. I know that we’re already destined to meet somewhere in the future. Who knows maybe tomorrow or the next day or next month. Or maybe, just maybe, we have already met but the timing was off that day. I’ve had may fair share with guys over the past years. I’ve hurt some, and some had hurt me as well. I think I’ve gone through all emotions that life can offer. Intoxicated, euphoric. Pained and agonized. Joyful, melancholic. Envy and despair. You name it, I have felt it.
It’s the first day of May! Already?! Yikes! Two months to go and it’s my birthmonth, yehey! Not sure what to feel honestly though. Haha!
Earlier today I was trying to create my own blog site and I found out that I already had this account way back year 2011. And for the past 6 years I have not created any blog entries yet. Anyway, I’ve been wanting to have my own blog before but for some unknown reason I did not manage to do it, so I’m pretty much excited to have finally created my very first blog entry! I’m not a techie person, I don’t even know what HTML is haha, and I am currently using my cellular phone as I type this so I’m still a noob about this whole blogging thing. It’s kind of difficult to edit or whatsoever, and I think WordPress looks way different through a computer than this small gadget in my hand.
As I was typing the second paragraph, I was thinking what entries should I post or write about? Should I formally introduce myself? Is it needed? I’m thinking what kind of a blogger shall I be? I’m thinking of categorizing this as my “pre-formal first blog entry” since I’ve got nothing to share about yet. I was actually planning to have my very first entry exactly on my birthday. But I guess I got excited so… LOL!